In the newest issue of "Working Mother," they highlight the 10 secrets to happiness (see here). I wasn't really surprised by the news, but I do work in the field of Positive Psychology and am knee deep in the happiness research as I write (or something like writing) my dissertation proposal. Sidebar: Oh, and I have to admit when I saw the cover, I was a little annoyed thinking they stole my dissertation topic. I got over it. Back to my revelations. What I was surprised about was how much it made me reflect on my life. Yesterday, I saw this blog post on the Power of Moms blog. The key line that stood out was this, "If money can solve your problems, then you don't have any problems." I did a quick list in my head of my "problems." Instantly, my problems are gone! Poof! Well, not so fast. I did, however, have a new perspective.
For the past 24 hours, I have been reflecting on my thoughts and putting them in perspective. The combination of the above references have given me a spin that I did not have yet. I have heard tons of times, you get stuff, then you want more stuff. The word "stuff" can really be replaced with anything, money, etc. So what really matters? Family, friends, love, etc., but we already know that. The real question is how do we live it?
How do we stop keeping up with the Joneses? How do we stop comparing our children? Our careers? Is it a matter of identity? Self-concept? Self-confidence? I don't know the answer, but I do know that I want to break the cycle with my family. Living in the now, focusing on what we do have and not on what we want.
How do we really know what we want, anyway? Everything we see is mirage, and once you actually get "it," it never looks quite like we thought it would. This could go either way: we are happy with what we get or not.
I am thinking back to the quote "If money can solve your problems, then you don't have any problems." If this is true, then could we also say that "if what you want costs money, then it won't make you happy?" Sidebar: I am making the assumption that all basic needs are covered (food, shelter, clothing, etc). So, buying the next greatest piece of something won't really fill your happiness tank, will it? Sure, maybe in the short term, but in terms of long term happiness, once the initial newness wears off, you will probably be back to the same level of happiness you were when you just wanted that thing.
How do we figure out what really fills our happiness tank? I am using the "money factor" to reflect on it - meaning that if my thoughts of happiness return to something that costs money, then it is taken off the list. I am pretty sure that once I make this mental shift that I will find that my happiness tank is pretty full (and, it didn't even cost me anything!).
Tell me, how what fills your happiness tank?
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